It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize