As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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