Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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