It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
