we're chasing vodka with high fives
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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