ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
