He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
it's like iHOP with fire
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
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Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
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She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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