Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
