i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
