i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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