hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
