just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
