At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
