The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
