All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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