People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
