Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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