She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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