Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I wish I only lived at night.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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