Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
