Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Oh god it's open bar.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
