does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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