Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
