your parents love me but you hate me
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
