he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
