Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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