I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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