I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize
