I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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