i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Randomize
