sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
