But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
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So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
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You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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