Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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