But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
