you guys were way drunker than both of me
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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