She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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