Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
