Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
