I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
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She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
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