Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
