If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
