I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
