omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Every concussion has its silver lining
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
