You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
