Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
