i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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