1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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