I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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