Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
