I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
