How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
