When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize