being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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