I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize