Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Randomize
