R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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