It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
