So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize