i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
