I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
be right there i have to get my cape
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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