no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
