I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
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His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
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His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
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Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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